Tuesday Talks: Love IRL and Fiction

Happy Tuesday and happy Valentine’s Day/Singles Awareness Day!

Some may prefer to ignore today or treat it like Taco Tuesday. Single or not, I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day. Sure, it’s commercialized and the church itself isn’t even sure which St. Valentine the Pope meant to honor way back when, but I love celebrating the people in my life and the love I have for them. At the moment, all those relationships are familial and platonic, and that’s fine.

We live in a society where people like to make a big deal out of being single and even question sometimes if something is wrong with you. Have you ever gotten the question “Why are you still single?” Even kids have views on relationships based on the media, what they see, and what they hear.

I’m twenty-three and haven’t really gotten myself settled in the next stage of life. I’m at a pause, almost beginning stages of navigating post-graduate life and really going after new opportunities and preparing to cut some ties and really make some changes. With that picture painted, imagine having to explain to my preteen and young teenage cousins about whether or not I’m dating, if I want to date and eventually get married, and so on. In their eyes, I should be seeing someone. It was probably fueled by another couple my age at our church getting married and having their first child. They don’t quite understand yet that everyone has different timelines.

Yes, one day down the road I would like to get married. But at the same time, I’m not rushing, seeking out people just to get rid of the single stigmas, or compromising what I want to do in my life or who I am for a relationship.

In my writing, I want to write characters who aren’t pressured into relationships just because everyone says they should be in. I don’t want characters who are desperate in their pursuit of love. Most of the time when that happens, people overlook dangerous qualities. Sure, it could make for any interesting plot if I were prepping to write a crime or mystery novel, but I think storylines like that, in general, run the risk of being damaging especially when written for young adults and teens. When you’re young and still forming views on relationships and love you need healthy examples of dealing with singleness, loss, healing, and all kind of other emotions and experiences humans deal with without painting it as needing a romantic relationship to prove your ok, wanted, or loved.

Sending lots of love out to you all today. Writers, tell me about how you write love and romantic relationships. What personal views to impact how your characters fall in love?

Kira Elise

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